Studderin'
by J. K. Rowling
Summary: Lol...what happens when Professor Quirrell hears the song "Studder", by Joe?...
1. Default Chapter

Part 2:

Studderin' -Professor Quirrell

Well, it just hit me. The studder song. Professor Quirrell studders...so, the "Studder" song popped into my head! And it's da second part of when Hogwarts teachers go crazy series!

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Professor Quirrell walked down the his classroom. He soon saw a package on his desk. He picked it up. It was to him, but no returning address. He opened the package, to find a muggle mini CD player. He read the note left in the box:

"I thought this song may help you, and the directions to turn it on is below"

He followed the directions, and popped the CD in:

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Baby don't go, baby don't go, baby don't go. 

Talk to me, tell me, where you were (late last night), You told me, with yer friends, hanging out (late last night), You lying, cuz you stuttering, now where were you (late last night), Stop lying to me, cuz you're ticking me off, see you're ticking me off, oh girl.

Quirrell gets a brief look of horror on his face. Then, his face turned into a huge smile.

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I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. 

Quirrell puts on the headphones, and walks out of the room with the CD player. Harry, Hermione, and Ron look at him strangely. 

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I called you, on your cell phone, no answer (tell me why). So I paged you, on your two-way, still no response (tell me why). I took care of you, I loved you, and you played me (tell me why). Stop lying to me about where you been, Cuz you're ticking me off, ticking me off. 

I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. 

Quirrell bumped into people with no care, and ran into Snape. Obviously, he was cussing him out, but he couldn't hear him, and didn't care.

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It's funny to me, when you lie to me, You start stuttering, tripping, I caught you, baby. It's funny to me, when you lie to me, You start stuttering, tripping, I caught you, baby. 

I smell cologne, damn it's strong, How'd you get it on (I'm not done). He messed up your hair, makeup's everywhere. Oh yeah, (I'm not done). Girl you're crying cuz you're lying to my face (I'm not done). Stop lying, about sentiment, Cuz you're ticking me off. 

"Studderin', studderin'...," Quirrell said, clearly. It shocked the line of people following him. He started dancing.

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I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. I can tell you're lying, because when you're replying, Stutter, stutters, stutter, stutters. 

Quirrell bumps into a guy with a long beard. He looks up. It was Dumbledore. He gulped.

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Why did I? You should know by now. I gotta know baby, I just can't keep going on girl. Oh, get on baby, no love from you. I hear you lying, I hear you, Stuttering, stuttering, stuttering, stuttering, stutter, stuttering. Oh girl, you should leave me alone, Get the hell on. 

"S-S-So..do y-y-you want to h-hear my ne-new s-s-song?," Quirrell said, nervously. Dumbledore glared at him.

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So ,you like? I don't really find it as...abnormal as part one: catsup...oh yea, there really is no difference between ketchup and catsup. Same thing. I will make more to this series!...


	2. Default Chapter

Catsup  
  
When I made this story, I was just done after eating 4 pounds of ketchup, and 26 sugar cookies...  
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Snape was taking his first bite out of his ketchup sandwich. Soon, Hermione, Harry, and Ron walked through the door.   
  
Ron: Sorry, Professor Snape- I forgot what our homework was.   
  
Ron copies the homework off of the board.  
  
Hermione: Um....Mr. Snape?  
  
Snape: Yea, Granger?  
  
Hermione: Why are you eating a sandwich with only catsup on it?   
  
Snape dropped his sandwich, and stood up, in rage.  
  
Snape: It's ketchup, Granger. 30 points from Gryffindor!!  
  
Harry: But Snape- she just said catsup-  
  
Snape stands up on his desk  
  
Snape: It's Ketchup! KETCHUP!!-  
  
Ron: But-  
  
Snape: That is what is wrong with you young people today! You don't say the things that matter-  
  
Hermione: Where I come form, we say catsup-  
  
Snape: Where the hell are you from, Granger?!? 50 points from Gryffindor!!  
  
Snape jumped off of the desk. And walked into the hall, grumpily.  
  
Ron: What was THAT about?  
  
  
The next day, Snape came into Potions, dressed as Neville's grandmother  
  
Everyone gasped, and everyone laughs. Snape automatically takes away 50 points from all four houses, when only Gryffindor and Slytherin were there.  
  
Draco raised his hand.  
  
Snape: 30 points from Slytherin  
  
Draco holds his mouth open in awe.  
  
Draco: What the hell?!?  
  
Snape: Another 30 for foul language!!!  
  
Harry and Ron are laughing.   
  
Snape: 40 points from Slytherin and Hufflepuff.  
  
Harry and Ron laugh so hard, they snort like pigs, and Draco is cursing loudly.  
  
Snape: Ok, it's time I start you all little !@#$%*'s lesson.  
  
Everyone gasp.  
  
Lavender raises her hand.  
  
Snape: What?  
  
Lavender: Excuse me...but did you just call us all...female dogs?  
  
Snape gets up, and swings a giant bottle of ketchup into his mouth.  
  
Snape: I called you a @#$%!^ you !^@#$%&, a @#$%^&*!!!!!  
  
Lavender cries, and tries to run out of the room, but Snape grabs her, and locks the door. He swallows the key. Snape ties Lavender to a desk. He gags her.  
  
Snape: No one ain't goin' NO WERE!!  
  
Everyone screams. Hermione climbs out a window. Snape manages to shove everyone into a closet. He takes a match, and throws it into the closet. He pores two gallons of gasoline in the closet and runs out of the castle.   
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!  
  
Snape grins.   
  
Snape: NOW I CAN BE A BALLERINA!!!  
  
He jumps into the water, and drowns, and is dragged by the lock ness monster (who protects the entrance to Atlantis) to Atlantis, for a sacrifice.  
  
FIN  
  
ONE WORD DESCRIBES THIS STORY: MUFF!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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